Positivity is the “thing” right now, right? With all the inspirational quotes floating around Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Pinterest, and for those who still use email to sling their spammy good vibes and Christianese quotables, there – how could we possibly have any problems at all? Do what these quotes tell you to do, and nothing will suck.

Well, my friends, some things do suck.

So I need quotes to deal with these things – feel free to leave the fix all quote for each of these in the comments if you have one… I mean, I’ll give it a try! (Oh, and if you think run on or really long sentences suck, then you’re gonna hate this post.)

1.  Sick kids – or worse, one sick kid and others that you are trying to keep from getting sick, but that is near impossible, because the sick one is a kid, and keeps touching things, and isn’t sick enough to just stay put.

2.  Losing my glasses. I need my glasses to see, but I can’t see to find them. What the!

3.  B*****s. I could easily be talking about our dog right now. I could be. But I’m not.  It is pretty hard for a person to get me not to like them, and so far, only two people have truly succeeded.  Maybe it is because they can’t be ignored – that and I can’t convince them to put on these ruby red slippers, click their heels, and well… you know the rest. Don’t worry that it could be you though – those two people definitely don’t read this blog.

4.  Procrastination. I know there are lots of quotes on this, but none of them have worked for me. What else have you got?

5.  Anything that I just don’t want to do. Sometimes there is no explanation for things.  There are some things I just don’t want to do… because I just don’t want to do them.  There’s no quote to change that, no inspirational story, no picture of a kitten dangling by its claws telling me to “hang in there” will make me feel like pushing forward.  I just don’t want to.  There are times I don’t want to hang in there.  I want to throw in the towel… maybe AT someone, only for the sake of being able to say that I can multi-task.

6.  Crying. I don’t care if it is because of a movie that’s way too sad, a commercial that blind-sided me with its sentimental sappyness (Really, Foundation for a Better Life?… really?), or ANY Mark Schultz song – at some point our tear ducts are not meant to work unless there is a really special occasion.  It hurts kinda like when you eat something sour – a squeezing, spasm, crampy sort of thing… in my EYE.  Then your face is like, “what on earth?” and puffs up and turns colors like a startled blow fish… all because Kleenex needs to make us cry in order to sell more tissues? Unfair.

Right now, there are things happening around me that are amazing. God is good… all the time – even when some things suck. He doesn’t make them suck – they just do – and that’s okay.  However, some of us NEED quotes to get by. I challenge you guys to find a quote to fix my six situations that suck.  BTW, some people think alliteration sucks. Obviously, I’m not one of those people. Looking out for your quotables!

P.S. Nothing against Christianese… I’m just not bilingual. I understand it, I just don’t speak it fluently.