{"id":1226,"date":"2015-09-08T14:27:53","date_gmt":"2015-09-08T14:27:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/socamom.com\/w\/freedom-to-be-curly-for-little-girlies\/"},"modified":"2023-09-04T22:02:17","modified_gmt":"2023-09-05T04:02:17","slug":"freedom-to-be-curly-for-little-girlies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/socamom.com\/w\/freedom-to-be-curly-for-little-girlies\/","title":{"rendered":"When My Black Girl Wants to Wear Her Hair “Down”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Smooth. Sleek. Straight. \u00a0Edges must be controlled. Flyaways must be tamed.<\/strong> Seems like as a woman with curly hair only thing you have freedom to do when it comes to your hair is it choose what products you will buy to beat it into submission.\u00a0 For most of my life, this is what hair care boiled down to \u2013 fixing what was wrong with my hair.<\/p>\n

Related Post: A Long Lasting Twist Out Style for My Tween<\/a><\/p>\n

Apparently, nothing about my hair in its natural state was good.\u00a0 My edges definitely defied control, and my whole head was a fly away.\u00a0 The thick curls didn\u2019t lend themselves to smoothness, were the antithesis of straight, and as far as anything being sleek \u2013 not happening.\u00a0 I accepted that my hair NEEDED to be FIXED.\u00a0 It had to lie down.\u00a0 Problem is \u2013 my hair wasn\u2019t meant to lie down.<\/p>\n

My mom\u2019s cabinet had all kinds of things to \u201cfix\u201d my hair. <\/strong>Hot afro pick, hot comb, hot oil (looks like \u201chot\u201d was important in the fixing process) were all front and center.\u00a0 Then there was the blow dryer, various brushes, combs, detanglers, sprays, lotions, creams, rubber bands, and clips, and I was convinced that my hair was something to be conquered on a bi weekly basis.\u00a0 My hair was an ordeal.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll be hard pressed to find a child of Caribbean heritage who has not had plaits so tight that they had difficulty sleeping or even blinking for at least a day after getting their hair \u201cdone.\u201d <\/strong>The control exercised in the house over a child\u2019s behavior certainly extended to each and every follicle on a girl\u2019s head as well.<\/p>\n

When I had my daughter, I was so excited for her to have enough hair on her head for me to snatch it up in a rubber band, a clip, or a bow. <\/strong> It wasn\u2019t about control, but she was my little baby doll. She sat still for it too \u2013 win for both of us.<\/p>\n

Eventually, when she started noticing ads that basically glorify (often in dramatic slow motion) the straightest, shiniest hair, that was about as far from her hair as possible, she would ask me \u2013 why is my hair like this?<\/strong> Why doesn\u2019t it look like so-and-so\u2019s hair? Why won\u2019t it lay down? Why isn\u2019t my hair straight like yours? So eventually, for that reason and others, I cut off all of the chemically relaxed hair and wore my natural hair.\u00a0 It has been that way for 4 years now.\u00a0 We have matching curls. She still has questions.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Why does my hair have to be braided?<\/strong> I really had to think about that.\u00a0 Why does it have to be twisted up? Held down? In ponytails? In rubber bands?\u00a0 Her friends who have hair that is less curly, can just\u2026 be.\u00a0 No clips or rubber bands required. Bows are decorative, not required. Headbands are functional, not a necessity. So one day, I just let her be\u2026 I had blow dried it so that I could braid it, but she was over it, I was over it, and I just let her be.\u00a0 I watched her whip her hair around, jump, prance, and just be free.\u00a0 It was beautiful. I started thinking \u2013 why DOES her hair have to be DONE?\u00a0 What does it mean for hair to be DONE anyway?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course, we went back to the usual braids, twists, and cornrows just for practical purposes. <\/strong>Whether it is out and free or not, hair, just for general scalp health, cleanliness, and circulation, has to be washed, brushed, combed, and\/or manipulated in some way just like any other part of the body. \u00a0Her hair is not silky, sleek, or smooth, so it tangles when it blows in the wind or gets slept on several nights in a row. But again, why can\u2019t she feel the freedom of washing, combing, and just going?\u00a0 I see the happiness she feels when it is out, and like all moms, seeing her happy brings me joy.<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes we just let her hair be \u2013 not all the time \u2013 just sometimes. <\/strong> On those days spends a lot of time flipping her hair, fluffing her hair, stretching her hair, mushing it against her cheeks and making faces, twisting it around her finger when she\u2019s in deep thought \u2013 then at night, she just goes to sleep.\u00a0 No head wraps, no bonnets, just sleep\u2026 hair everywhere\u2026 don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Smooth. Sleek. Straight. \u00a0Edges must be controlled. Flyaways must be tamed.<\/strong> Seems like as a woman with curly hair only thing you have freedom to do when it comes to your hair is it choose what products you will buy to beat it into submission.\u00a0 For most of my life, this is what hair care boiled down to \u2013 fixing what was wrong with my hair.<\/p>\n

Continue reading ➞ When My Black Girl Wants to Wear Her Hair “Down”<\/span><\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1222,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-blog","blog_design-has-thumbnail"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen My Black Girl Wants to Wear Her Hair "Down" - Socamom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/socamom.com\/w\/freedom-to-be-curly-for-little-girlies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When My Black Girl Wants to Wear Her Hair "Down" - Socamom\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0 Smooth. 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