One day when I was a senior, I decided I was going to go from having hair down my back to a short straight bob.\u00a0 I was so pleased with myself that I drove over to my boyfriend\u2019s job at Hardee\u2019s to show him.\u00a0 I walked up to his counter, and he just looked at me.\u00a0 Eventually he said, \u201cCan I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n
He broke up with me shortly after that. <\/strong>That was the first time that I realized that how I looked could affect how people related to me.<\/p>\n It was a shock, but I got over it.\u00a0 I arrived my first day at North Carolina A&T in Greensboro, NC with a pair of purplish pink shortalls from the Gap with a matching T-shirt, some tall white sport socks, sterling silver jewelry (including several herringbone necklaces) and some Birkenstock sandals. I liked it, I did it.\u00a0 One day, I put on a forest green sweatshirt, some torn jean shorts, thermal underwear bottoms, white sport socks, and some brown Sebago boots.\u00a0 At that point, my new college friends had had enough.\u00a0 They let me know that I was at a Black school now, and that \u201cwear what you feel\u201d business won\u2019t work.<\/p>\n At that point, I wore jeans, t-shirts, and sweatpants \u2013 for the most part \u2013 every day for the next 3 years.<\/strong><\/p>\n Fast forward to 1999.\u00a0 I had my son, and was in a \u201crelationship\u201d with his dad who felt like I should look Amish.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even want to describe the things I wore to keep him quiet.\u00a0 It makes me cringe to think I hid that cute little body under all those awful clothes just to keep him from yapping his gums at me about my clothes.\u00a0 By 2001, I had put a mattress and all of my belongings in the back of my truck and moved 600 miles away.<\/p>\n My new job was right next to Filene\u2019s Basement.\u00a0 I stayed thin because I spent so much time shopping that I forgot to eat.\u00a0 Across the street \u2013 9 West, Victoria\u2019s Secret, The Gap, Express, Burberry (a girl can dream), Ann Taylor, and so many cute little boutiques!\u00a0 I was on a budget, so I between food and fashion \u2013 I chose fashion.\u00a0 I was back.\u00a0 I was more sophisticated in my choices, and even though I had a couple of duds in the closet, the majority of my pieces were winners. One thing I didn\u2019t touch \u2013 my hair.\u00a0 I would wear wigs or weaves, but underneath it all, I had long flowing tresses that men adored.<\/strong><\/p>\n While rocking a blur of tiny tops and flowing pants, sweet flats and stunning stilettos, I re-met and married my current husband.\u00a0 I stayed cute for a while, then I got pregnant shortly after the wedding.\u00a0 I was excited about getting to wear cute maternity clothes, but comfort won out, and since I spent a lot of time on bed rest, I got and remained \u2013 frumpy.\u00a0 I got cute on occasion, but most of the time \u2013 sweats and some maternity jeans (that mysteriously disappeared shortly after I gave birth to my second son).<\/p>\n I cut my hair at least twice, but both times, it grew back VERY quickly \u2013 and I had a relaxer.<\/strong><\/p>\n Fast forward to July of this year.\u00a0 I had been playing with the idea of cutting all of my hair off, but I always had that incident with my ex from high school in the back of my mind.\u00a0 I would say to myself, \u201cI know he puts up with my attitude, my frumpy clothes, my worn out sneakers, and we have kids, a home, and a business together, but will all of that withstand a severe hair cut?\u201d\u00a0 I seriously didn\u2019t think it could.\u00a0 I had toyed with the idea of going natural for about 4 years, and one day he said to me, \u201cif you are going to do it, just do it already.\u201d\u00a0 And I did.\u00a0 I was terrified.\u00a0 For as long as I could remember, I was \u201cEva with the long hair\u201d.\u00a0 So if I cut it, then who would I be?\u00a0 I could wear what I wanted because I was \u201cEva with the long hair\u201d.\u00a0 My husband always remarked about how beautiful my hair was, and with my new much larger frame, I clung to that.<\/strong> Whenever I washed or relaxed it, he would run his fingers through it, and I could see the happiness in his eyes. He never made me feel unattractive, but I hadn\u2019t embraced my new size \u2013 now to be bald? It just didn\u2019t seem sensible.<\/p>\n I called him at work, and said I was ready.\u00a0 He said we could go to Kohl\u2019s and get some accessories to go with my new do.\u00a0 He knew once I spent money, there would be no turning back.\u00a0 I made this goodbye video\u2026<\/p>\n