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<\/p>\nI wrote this a couple of weeks ago while waiting for my daughter to finish a dance class. \u00a0Eavesdropping… being a real macco. \u00a0Oh well, if they didn’t want me to hear it, they should have been whispering.<\/p>\n
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I am sitting here \u2013 right now \u2013 listening to a group of parents talk (loudly) about how they deal with their kids and social media.\u00a0 One actually said they have no monitoring software \u2013 they just lie to the kids and tell them that they have something watching them but they don\u2019t. Right.\u00a0 And you tell people. Loudly.<\/p>\n
These people can’t be serious.<\/p>\n
9, 10, 11 year olds with phones?\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember even having unlimited access to a land line at 11. There were certain acceptable hours for talking with friends, and when that was over, it was over.\u00a0 There was a reason for that.\u00a0 My parents would tell me, \u201cyou could\u2019ve talked to your friends all day at school, now you need to talk to them at home? Get off that phone.\u201d And I got off, or risked having someone jump on the phone and ask me if I was \u201cmad or what\u201d in an accent that only I could understand, but with a universally understood promise of swift and certain harm if I didn’t get in line and get off the phone.<\/p>\n
When I was in school, bullying wasn\u2019t as much of a big deal.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t fun, and I am probably still traumatized, but it stayed at school.\u00a0 I was given sweet relief as soon as I left that building, and went home.\u00a0 They couldn\u2019t get to me until the next day.\u00a0 In that time, I was able to recover, get a hug and a hot meal, and be ready for battle the next day \u2013 refreshed and renewed by my parents, who knew everything that was happening. \u00a0Today? Parents don\u2019t have a clue.\u00a0 One of these \u201cparents\u201d just said their kid had a right to privacy.\u00a0 Um, they do?\u00a0 In the bathroom, yes.\u00a0 In their bedroom, to a point.\u00a0 On a computer that I pay for or a phone that I provide?\u00a0 Absolutely not.<\/span><\/p>\n Bullies have access to our kids through social media, 24\/7. We talk about how much pressure kids are under these days, but we are allowing it.\u00a0 Should an 11 year old have to deal with someone texting them to tell them they are a whore?\u00a0 It happens.\u00a0 Why can\u2019t we let our kids be kids for a while, and let them leave the bullies at school?\u00a0 They have plenty of time to be stressed out when they are older.<\/p>\n When an adult has to bring work home from the office on a regular basis, it is can be stressful.\u00a0 Paperwork stinks, especially in the sanctuary that is your home. Nowadays, bringing work home includes dealing with the same awful co-workers and superiors that you have to deal with for 9 hours a day, via phone calls, email, text, and instant message. That\u2019s stress on top of stress.\u00a0 For people who bring work home, this new level of connection with work and the people there affects their mood \u2013 they can\u2019t sleep, they complain more, they get sick often, they feel overwhelmed.<\/p>\n For kids, school is the equivalent of work for adults.\u00a0 Yes, they bring work home in the form of homework, like adults bring home paperwork, but now they are bringing their classmates and all that drama home too.\u00a0 We adults don\u2019t deal with it well, but we put that on our kids with no reservation, because Billy\u2019s mom said that Billy could? Billy\u2019s mom is not the boss of me.<\/p>\n Back when I was younger, well before cell phones and sexting, laptops, iPads, and fake Facebook accounts created to ridicule and bully, kids were getting humiliated via the newest innovation in communication \u2013 the three way call.\u00a0 You remember how that used to go?\u00a0 Call your friend, and then call someone you plan to humiliate (who believes they are your friend) on three-way without telling them that anyone else was on the other line.\u00a0 Then ask a series of private questions, while your other friend giggles with the phone on mute at the undoubtedly embarrassing answers.\u00a0 Today, we are a far cry from the do you like so and so, and have you kissed so and so, on three way.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I have all their passwords \u2013 that was the condition for them having accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.\u201d<\/p>\n So. What.<\/p>\n Let me tell you how this works. You have passwords to the accounts they want you to have access to.\u00a0 Those are the accounts that they use to follow auntie so and so on Twitter, and grandma on Facebook. Then there are those that you don\u2019t know anything about. A gmail account is free and takes a few seconds to create.\u00a0 Creating a new facebook account using that new gmail address that is unknown to you takes even less time.\u00a0 Checking a box that says, \u201cyes, I\u2019m 18 and over\u201d takes milliseconds.\u00a0 Using that new secret gmail account, they create Twitter, Instagram, and other accounts, also unknown to you which they control from their cell phones.\u00a0 They post benign stuff every now and then on the accounts that you have passwords to (\u201cout having pizza with granny\u201d or \u201cmy mom is the most wonderful person in the world\u201d or even better \u201cschool is amazing, my mom was right\u201d), so that you think that they are still active, when in fact, the real stuff is going on out of your sight.<\/p>\n These are kids\u2026 KIDS people!\u00a0 Why are we giving the world access to them, and vice versa \u2013 good, bad, and ugly?\u00a0 Why all of a sudden is this okay?\u00a0 Why is, \u201cbecause so and so has one,\u201d a viable reason for me, as a parent, to provide anything? As a teenager, I got away with so much with so little.\u00a0 These kids today have technology on their side!<\/p>\n Has anyone thought about returning to the simpler time when kids had a moment of peace? True, it was sometimes forced, but at least it was there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I wrote this a couple of weeks ago while waiting for my daughter to finish a dance class. \u00a0Eavesdropping… being a real macco. \u00a0Oh well, if they didn’t want me to hear it, they should have been whispering.<\/p>\n I am sitting here \u2013 right now \u2013 listening to a group of parents talk (loudly) about how they deal with their kids and social media.\u00a0 One actually said they have no monitoring software \u2013 they just lie to the kids and tell them that they have something watching them but they don\u2019t. Right.\u00a0 And you tell people. Loudly.<\/p>\n These people can’t be serious.<\/p>\n 9, 10, 11 year olds with phones?\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember even having unlimited access to a land line at 11. There were certain acceptable hours for talking with friends, and when that was over, it was over.\u00a0 There was a reason for that.\u00a0 My parents would tell me, \u201cyou could\u2019ve talked to your friends all day at school, now you need to talk to them at home? Get off that phone.\u201d And I got off, or risked having someone jump on the phone and ask me if I was \u201cmad or what\u201d in an accent that only I could understand, but with a universally understood promise of swift and certain harm if I didn’t get in line and get off the phone.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n